


he who nurtures life, and he who razes it down

by springtine



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Can be platonic or romantic, Character Study, Gen, No Beta We Die Like August
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 10:00:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25348849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/springtine/pseuds/springtine
Summary: Tsumugi was someone who cultivates seeds and seedlings into beautiful plants. Chikage was someone who used to take away life with learned ease.Tsumugi gives Chikage one of his succulents, and Chikage learns to accept himself, even a bit.
Relationships: Tsukioka Tsumugi/Utsuki Chikage
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	he who nurtures life, and he who razes it down

The Mankai dorms always have someone awake in the dead of night. Whether it's co-op games, homework, nightmares, or just thoughts that keep them awake, the dorms never sleep.

The air smells musty with the forecasted rainstorm today. Even with the sun barely up on the horizon, the sky is already gray with cumulonimbus clouds. Chikage lies in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. Itaru, surprisingly, is snoring in his bed. He had gone to sleep at 2 am, muttering that his SP needed to refill.

Chikage doesn't dare to close his eyes as the images of a dying August permeates the darkness his eyelids bring. Even though he and December are on slightly better terms, he still has his reservations. He's able to sleep more often, but some nights are worse than others. August only lives through their memories now. Chikage knows that the August in his memories won't spit out the hateful words that the August in his dreams had. A part of him still feels immense sadness, anger, and guilt.

Devoting more time to the stage than to the Organization has helped him pave his way through the vengeful thoughts that consume him. An actor must be able to correctly identify their emotions, after all. Knowing the truth behind August's death and the disappearance of December has weighed him down with guilt. He's scared to reach out to the new family December found himself, considering he had already betrayed them once. Someone who turns everything he touches to ashes has no right to gain a family that cares for him, once again. He saw how his found family with August and December had gone up in flames, after all.

Chikage closes his eyes and presses the heels of his hands into his eyelids until white lights explode in the darkness. He can stay awake for several days straight, but that doesn't mean it's pleasant. He decides to start brewing some coffee since his thoughts will only continue to bog him down further. His footsteps are silent as he exits the room.

It's barely 4 am, and Chikage hears huffs of exertion. The potted plants in the courtyard have been taken into the lounge. The other plants that couldn't be taken inside had gotten a trim. Tsumugi silently huffs as he opens the door of the lounge. He spots Chikage looking around the courtyard curiously and greets him, "Good morning, Chikage-san. Did I wake you up?"

"No, I've been up for hours." Chikage answers. Tsumugi nods, "I'm glad."

Chikage eyes the remaining pots. The sky rumbled above them menacingly, snapping the Winter Troupe Leader in a panicked state. He picked up one of the smaller containers and hurried inside. 

Chikage decided to help Tsumugi to put the plants inside. Hisoka would surely glare holes into him again if he learned that Tsumugi was soaked because of him. Sighing to himself, he lifted one of the pots with a small rose bush growing. Tsumugi smiled at him as they passed one another. Chikage returned it with a curt nod of his own. 

It wasn't hard to fall into the dorms' routine after the stunt that he pulled. It was always small things. Like helping the students with their homework, watching whatever was on the television, helping with the chores. Sakuya would wave him over to the tv with the others to watch one of Tenma's shows. Kazunari tried to hold him down for the occasional selfie. Omi and Izumi made him taste test the curry puffs they would make. Taichi and Muku sometimes asked him to tutor them if a big test was coming up. Hisoka dragged him into listening to one of Arisu's poetry readings. Chigasaki would kindly convince his senior to go to anime or game-themed cafes with him.

The domestic cycle was strange to him when he thought about it, but he felt comfortable. He felt like he didn't need to hold back with his interactions anymore. He finds it much easier to fall into meaningless but constant banter with the others now. Everyone was aware of his somewhat dubious background, but they never really made a big fuss out of it. They just accepted him, even though he knew to himself that he would destroy everything that he touched.

Tsumugi wiped his hands on the gardening apron as Chikage approached with a wooden crate full of small potted succulents. The pots of the small plants varied from lightbulbs, plastic containers, ceramic, and glass. Some of them had little blossoms. They ranged from cacti, triangle leaves, and what looked like small trees. Some of them were red, purple, but most of them were in shades of green. All of them looked healthy.

Tsumugi looked pleased as Chikage put the crate down by the window. "Thank you so much, Chikage-san."

"It's nothing." Chikage goes towards the kitchen before asking over his shoulder, "Do you want coffee?"

"Yes, please."

After washing his hands from the dirt and grime, Chikage works the coffee machine. Tsumugi lightly ruffles his hair with a towel, as it had begun to drizzle as they were putting the plants inside.

Months ago, he wouldn't even think of offering his help. Learning of August's last wish for them has changed that. He served up both their drinks. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he knew everyone's tastes in drinks. Tsumugi preferred two spoonfuls of sugar in a warm coffee. Chikage only put half a spoon of creamer in his coffee.

When he slides the mug across the table, Tsumugi observed a small succulent in a lavender ceramic planter, with a rather crude rabbit face painted on. Chikage eyed the plant as Tsumugi dampened its soil with a few pushes from a spray bottle.

"It looks healthy," Chikage muses. Tsumugi places the bottle down, "Thank you. One of my student's parents gave me this little sunset."

"Sunset?"

"This particular type of succulent is called a Hummel's Sunset," Tsumugi offered. The oval tips of the young succulent were dyed in a shade of red. Chikage quirked an eyebrow, "It doesn't look like a sunset."

"For now, at least," Tsumugi chimes, picking up his mug. The silence between them is comfortable. It doesn't feel stifling. 

"Chikage-san, you're much happier nowadays," Tsumugi remarked with a soft smile. Chikage blinked at the younger man, to which he chuckled.

"You're less guarded than when you arrived. It also seems like a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders. Your eyes, too. They used to be unreadable, but now, you look younger than you are. I don't know what happened between you and Hisoka, but it seems both of you have—"

Tsumugi cut himself off with pink cheeks, "Ah. I might have overstepped my boundaries. Sorry, I tend to ramble when I don't get enough sleep."

Chikage stared at him before he sighed with a smile, "I've grown soft."

"That's not necessarily a weakness."

Yes, it was, in his other job. But, he engaged less with the Organization now. He wouldn't unlearn all of the skills and knowledge from that line of work if it meant protecting his family. Some things couldn't be erased easily, but they accepted him, missing pieces and all. He didn't want to get his hopes up, but a part of him wished to protect this family. Ironic, coming from someone who razed everything he touches into ashes.

"You can take this," Tsumugi offers, pushing the little Golden Jade across the table. Chikage eyes the plant, before eyeing him, "What bought this on?"

"Just a little something," he hums. Chikage lightly pokes one of the small ovals. He didn't see why it was named a sunset. It looked so small and fragile in the little planter. 

"You sound like a teacher," Chikage snorts, before his tone softens, "Could I take care of this? I won't kill it?"

Tsumugi answered in a gentle tone after a while, "You won't. You're capable of nurturing life, too."

Is he? No one who razes everything to ashes deserves to have those words spoken to them. No one who had burned everyone they love to the ground. Not him. The next thing he knows, the family he had found would also be burned. Maybe he'll have another thick layer of blood on his hands.

The hope in Tsumugi's honest eyes stops those thoughts. They reminded him of August in a way. Maybe, he could hold this family close to him, and he wouldn't burn them. Perhaps he could use those flames to protect everyone in Mankai. 

Chikage and Tsumugi sit in silence again as the drizzle transforms into a moderate rain. They begin chatting about mundane things until a groggy Omi crashes into the lounge's doorway. Chikage hands Omi warm coffee with a spoonful of sugar and creamer.

Tsumugi helps with the bento portions and packing, as Chikage brews up coffee for the rest of the early risers. Tasuku gives them a greeting before he goes out for a jog. Sakyo arrives in the kitchen with a bedhead and a scowl. Itaru attempts to get the cola at the back of the fridge before Tsumugi makes him sit at the table with a glass of orange juice.

The rest of the dorms begin to wake up as the rain outside continues pours. Masumi gets dragged out of bed by Citron, who's very chipper for seven on a rainy morning. Guy thanks Tsumugi and Chikage for bringing in the plants. Banri and Kazunari chat about an art showcase their university will have soon, inviting the others. Both Tenma and Taichi end up cramming their assignments at breakfast, the dorm tutors providing helpful input. Yuki, Muku, Kumon, and Azami are silent; all of them still sleepy.

Rainy mornings are pleasantly quiet, Chikage muses. Tsumugi and Citron see the others see them off. The dorms fall into the sound of the low hum of the television and Citron's humming. Chikage finds the atmosphere comforting as the chatters of the others, who are now only getting up, enters his ears. He puts the succulent on the windowsill later. He looks up a picture and is eager for the small plant to grow up into a golden sunset. He spends his day off updating his blog and reading up on taking care of a Hummel's Sunset.

_ Would you be proud of us, August? _

**Author's Note:**

> god i hate being able to come up with so many ideas but no motivation to write or finish writing them. anyway, the first thing that i came up after that burnout or something was this character study with chikage and a succulent. someone give cabbage man a hug. the [succulent](https://www.succulentsandsunshine.com/types-of-succulents/crassula-ovata-hummels-sunset-golden-jade/) looks really cute tbh
> 
> this is my first time writing for a3! so i'm not too sure if i wrote everyone properly
> 
> comments, constructive criticism, and kudos are <3
> 
> you guys can follow me [@spring_tine](https://twitter.com/spring_tine) if you want to see me cry over not getting tsuzuru in the 1034893256th pull or if you're just looking for moots


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